The Blackberry Challenge...

So, the last post was August 6th...My, time flies when one goes to work every day for 8 hours and then tries to fit everything that needs to be done around, before and after those hours. In this last week I have pounded the pavements of downtown Seattle, gone to humbling "apartments" where many disenfranchised reside and made a barrage of phone calls to try to figure out resources.

I'm low kid on the totem pole, outside of my comfort zone. My head is swirling with taking in new information and bursting with, "I wonder how I'll do this, or that?" What does one do for the person who is addicted to multiple illegal and dangerous drugs, has many sores on their legs (abscesses), is a brittle diabetic, is anxious and depressed, can't sleep, isn't eating much, has dental pain and has lost 40 pounds in a few months? Well, I am slowly finding out!

I have the fantastic fortune to work with some amazing colleagues who are devoted to their work and are in the trenches of delivering services to very difficult and challenging populations of people. They are compassionate beyond belief, supportive of one another and totally irreverent which makes going to work something that I look forward to. During my interview, I was told that if I was sensitive to dark humor, this probably wasn't the place for me....It's also a place where we as employees must be very self motivated to accomplish our job; we have a tremendous amount of freedom with our comings and goings; no one is looking over our shoulders or micro managing us. We are not a clock punching group. I find that I get to the office around 7:30 AM and begin thinking about going home between 4:30 and 5:30 PM.

So in addition to spending my time in a cab (where the driver lowers all the windows because there's just a bit of a hygiene problem with my client) I've also spent time flipping burgers for an annual summer picnic for our client's. This is Madrona Park, a beautiful place along Lake Washington just a mile from my house. On the way to the picnic as we drove past my house, I silently felt so lucky and appreciative.

I've been to our local "sobering center" where I stepped around bodies sprawled on mats sleeping it off until morning where many will get up and start all over again. Some are finally ready to listen to my colleagues who gently try to talk them into going into treatment. (Note: To protect confidentiality, the pictures below are not pictures I have taken but are ones that I found on the internet that come very close to what I am seeing).


Success is measured by not being told to go away or by helping someone get some desperately needed housing. I am in a very different world and I like it. My last job of 16 years, "I did in my sleep" but now I am jarred awake, a bit panicked over how steep of a learning curve I am facing. But, I do believe that this is all good for me.

To address my not knowing the resources, I just call people and begin with a basic, "Hi, I'm brand new to this, know basically nothing about your services and wonder if you'd be kind enough to help me out?" I'm finding that it works fairly well. What hasn't gone as well is my learning to use a Blackberry, something we all carry and something I always thought would be great fun to have...Slowly I am learning and my younger colleagues who love the little devices have been very helpful. Today, while I washed dishes in our office a co-worker programed my ring tone to a nice quiet gong sound instead of the trilling ring....Everything is being dealt with in due time.

And what of acupuncture I am asked? Well, I am not giving it up, it's just on a temporary back burner until I get to feeling more confident with this new position. Hopefully, come October or so, I'll start seeing a few folks in my home office one day per week.

Gratitude abounds. I have a great job, wonderful co-workers, and get to wear jeans to work every day. When my day is over I return to a cozy little home and yard where I anticipate Kim's return from work while petting little Hermione who purrs about her day.

Thanks, thanks, thanks.

We Should Be Doing Better..

(double click to view the entire map)

On Tuesday morning, I spent a few hours underneath a freeway ramp talking to some homeless veterans. From the freeway ramp, I hiked along the railroad tracks to a lean to that is someone's home. At one of the sites, I spoke to a gentleman who is in need of serious medical attention. He refuses to go for treatment at the VA or anywhere else. I asked him if he would tell me why he wouldn't seek help. This was his answer:

First they taught me how to kill, then they threw me away.....

420 Days....

After 420 days of unemployment, tomorrow, Tuesday August 04, 2009, I begin a new job. It's been quite the ride and such a terrific opportunity. I'm grateful for the new job and grateful for not having had a job for all those days.

My new job entails working for Evergreen Treatment Services, the same agency I worked for prior to going to Italy. I'd worked at ETS for 16 years doing acupuncture within a multi-disciplinary treatment team. My new job on the HHOT Team (Health Housing Outreach Team) will involve my social work and substance abuse treatment skills. I will continue doing private acupuncture out of my home office but to a lesser degree than I did prior to going to Italy.

While in Italy I visualized having a job where I didn't need a car and had flexibility within my work week. This job gives me these two wishes. I'll be riding the bus a lot and hopefully Kim and I won't need a second car--our efforts toward aiding the "green movement". Also, dress is casual and that's a really big gift!

Already, while riding the bus to my interviews I am overhearing "the darnedest things"! (Sorry Mr. Linkletter!) A young man got on the bus, talking a mile a minute to a companion who barely uttered a responsive word:

Mr Talker: "Like the other night, I did this improv at the such and such club, you know? And like, I was completely naked; Yup, stark naked. And let me tell you, doing improv naked is not as easy as you might think..."

Thank you, thank you. Stay tuned.

July Memories....

July has become a pensive and reminiscing month for me.
My father’s birthday was July 3 and my mother’s is today, July 31.
Dad would have been 87, Mom 89.
I think of them both with gratitude on a daily basis; they live in my heart.

Next month it will be two years since my mother died.
For dad, in May, it became 9 years.

Where has the time gone?
The clock is ticking.
Live in the moment.
Where did it all go?
The past is past.
It’s a cliché life.
I ponder my own mortality.

Memories of bringing mom to live in Seattle remain with me.

In January 2004, I wrote the following about a phrase that mom often used (bad "poetry" I know, but it serves a release purpose at certain times!):

“This is this and this is that”.

Standing together at the dryer,
Sorting through the clothes-
This is this and this is that.

Your underwear, my shirts
You fold like a Nordstrom’s professional.
I ask the Tarot reader “is it legal to ask how long”?
The answer is:
Not too soon and not too long.
This is this and this is that.

We’re dancing and we’ve exchanged places.
There’s no “how to” manual.
There never is.
Because, now, you identify all things as:
This is this and this is that.

Some months later, a new entry in response to the many phone calls and messages I would receive. At that time, she still could dial my number. Later I so regretted that she no longer knew what a phone was or even cared.

Ring…..ring….ring…..
Sorry, we’re not home……
Hello? Hello? Hello?
Helloooo. Yooooo hoooo; hello…?
It’s your sister; no lover; no mom.
Please call me. Please call me.

And another:

It’s Saturday night and we’re dancing,
Cutting a rug to Lawrence Welk.
“Oh, he’s not still alive?"
Laughter.
Just a few hours earlier I helped you with your fork and cut your food.

Parenting can be a tricky thing. I think that I finally became a “grown up” when I quit judging my parents and realized that they did the best they could with the skills they had for their life experiences and times. I never doubted their love for me. That’s a pretty good place to be.
With a catch in my throat, I am thinking of you today, my "parental units".

Friends and Family Come Together....

This past week became time to come together to formally bid farewell, speak our remembrances, and cry our tears over the loss of Ken Ross. It's losses such as this that led Kim and me to go to Italy and now that we are back, we once again confront the losses that sent us away. So, as the old saying goes, "wherever you go, there you are"....Try as I might, it's time to really confront the loss of Ken's departure.

These memorials are for us, the living, to grapple with the unfathomable and to take in the inevitable. A good way to do this is through the company of great friends, great food and great music. Partner, John, put on a wonderful memorial that with such attention to detail reflected his love for Ken and paid tribute to both Ken and his family.

Ken Ross. June 1, 1951 - January 28, 2008

Music to comfort and soothe.

Ken called John, "John Boy" and John called Ken, "Kennyboy"

Friends remember.

So how do we cope?

We cry and force ourselves to smile.

A friend tries to take it all in...

A Mother wonders and ponders....

A sister works on coming to terms...

Your departure has wounded your little brother....

"Why"? seemed so close to everyone's lips.

A saddened family remains solid, forcing a smile to carry on because "he'd want them to".
But maybe they just don't want to right now.

Ken's family via John; nephew, Shane.

John and niece, Jessica.

And Monkey.

Flowers comfort our senses...

Food our souls.

John's garden is a living, ongoing tribute to you....

Ken, you are remembered with symbols...
Tabasco Sauce will never again be shaken without thinking of you.

A hand of??? God? Strength? You were always lending your hand.
I could count on you.

Now I can't even have a simple cup of coffee without missing you.

Where are you?

Why did you have to go!!!???

The book isn't large enough. Can I carry it around with me because I think of you about every 20 seconds? I called you "Big Brother" and meant it. I think that always surprised you and perhaps even made you feel a little nervous. Too bad; your fault. That's who you became to me.
"I will always love you". (Dolly Parton--I'm sure you hated her music. Deal with it).

A Sweet Young Texan Encounters Seattle....

Lucky me. Fourteen year old niece Rachel, on her way to connecting with other family members for a trip down the California coast, stopped in Seattle for a quick visit.
Rachel is teaching herself how to play the guitar so the perfect place to visit was the Experience Music Project--a museum created by billionaire and music aficionado Paul Allen.

In addition to the music portion, the museum houses a big Science Fiction section and also were having a special exhibit on Jim Henson of Muppet fame.

It's a curvy, wacky outside design that has grown on the city of Seattle over time.

First, to the music section!

A tribute to the late Michael Jackson--one of his famous gloves and outfits.

Assorted guitars that caught Rachel's eye and made her drool a bit....

Her favorite Gibson electric, number something or other.

The museum has an emphasis on the word "experiential" and here Rachel takes advantage of the opportunity.

At one point, I stepped away to an outside lobby to rest my tired feet.
While out there, I heard someone really getting down and jamming.
After a few minutes I walked back in and guess who it was???

Rachel told me that people would stop by and asking her how long she'd been playing....

Boys too, who when they say "it was a girl" walked away grumbling.

In addition to jamming, we took in old friends such as R2D2....

and our buddies, Bert and Ernie.

Later, at home Rachel and Dan traded music tips and favorite musician names back and forth.
As for me, I knew no one they were talking about but was happy just to watch and listen.

Pretty special to have such a beautiful and talented young niece named after me.
As I already mentioned, lucky, lucky me.