I am a little miffed that my sister in life and crime, Wendy, went off with Rachel and left me and Kim behind. How is poor Kim to manage job hunting without Rachel, and especially, without Wendy's very well rehearsed Catholic guilt trips? She, Wendy, managed to outdo herself today. During goodbyes at the airport, Wendy says to Kim: "You, Missy, have been gone for over a year and all those mentally ill people have just been waiting in that hospital of yours, not to mention in all those clinics everywhere, for your help. How can you even spend a minute unpacking- or resting SOME MORE- or looking at eagles in Seward Park- when there are so many people in need? What are you waiting for, a g-d* invitation?? Send out those resumes NOW! Don't you know that you will be lucky to find anything in this economy? You think some employer is just going to call you up and beg you to come to work when you FEEL like working?" And as God is my witness, Kim's reply of "well yes, Sister, that's kind of what I'm hoping for," brought Wendy straight to her knees right in front of the departures terminal, loudly imploring her Father (up in heaven) to DO something with such an ungrateful soul, beseeching Rachel for a little support, finally wailing and clutching the rosary beads to her breast (which personally I think has been a little overdone lately). This scene at the airport, witnessed by countless travelers, was really embarrassing for me. Drama queens, the both of them- each holier than thou.
Now I take a subtler (and more private) approach. When Miss Put Off Today What You Can Do Tomorrow just starts to fall asleep I prefer to whisper from the nightstand "What YOU need to get a job, Miss Privileged American, is a really, really big push to that gigantic tush of yours!" And Miss Superficial Lazybones lies awake for a long time wondering where the voice is coming from, first wondering is her tush really so gigantic and then eventually swearing she'll get right on it... as soon as she gets her beauty sleep. Ha! Well, a) she has not become any great beauty even after sleeping a zillion hours in Alessandria, b) when she says she'll get right on it- is she referring to the size of her tush- or to her life of privilege, laziness, and joblessness and c) in either case, do I look like I was born yesterday??! What a crock.
But the whispering campaign is only a few days old and I will persevere- or my name isn't Buschkaka**!
Oh, and one of these days, I'll tell you why I'll never be able to call Wendy, Sister Wendy. We go waaay back and I know far too much. Let's just leave it at that for now.
* gosh darn, of course
**the strongest, smartest, and most famous woman warrior of all time, I swear. She beat everyone in arm wrestling all the time- even the men- back in the day.
2 comments:
Hmmmmmmmm. After such a long journey from Seattle to Albuquerque and then to Los Alamos, we have to come and see this posting! We fear that Kim and Buschkaka have been hitting the vodka or proseco way too much. This is alarming. We can't even leave for a few hours before (excuse my language) "all hell breaks loose". Well, they know who they'll have to ultimately answer to...poor Rachel is crying herself to sleep. Amen. sw
I'm going to have to buy those adult diapers if Big B keeps writing such funny things-I almost wet my pants laughing! I, too, am worried about her influence on Kim without Rachel's good judgement to keep her in line. Wendy and Rachel better hurry back to make them behave!
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