24 Years!

July 21, 2008

Kim and I have a morning ritual of playing a game of Cribbage; this, along with a couple cups of coffee starts us off each day. Kim came up with this Cribbage timing as an attempt to put herself at an advantage. After all these many years of having to be at work often by 6AM, I continue to not be what one would call, a morning person. Consequently, Kim often tries to capitalize on my weakness; some mornings (such as today) it works for her and she sings to the gods but other mornings, it may not and Kim lets the world know her sorrows and the injustice of it all.

It has struck me during these times of great joy or despair, how can I convey this to others? The perfect pitch of her voice, the angst in her face; the sheer disbelief that she might not win this particular game as she throws her face onto the table? OR, there are the snickers, the joy, the exuberance of having won. It matters not, at both times, Kim is a sight to behold and actually, a great joy to be with. Kim is always telling me that I want to win as much as she does but she’s just louder about it. While it is true that I do like to win, Kim takes the desire to win to a height and place that reflects such a burning passion and zest for life. A few mornings ago, I told her that in a movie, the perfect person to play her would be either Paula Poundstone or Julia Sweeney. Probably Julia would be my first choice.

Today, July 21 is our anniversary and Kim and I have been together for 24 years; so today’s post is in her honor.

A lot changes in 24 years and for us, I can definitely say for the better. We have been through many incarnations with one another but each time I believe we’ve been lucky to have it be for the better. To be honest, I didn’t know what it would be like to be together 24/7 as we have been during this sojourn; but I am happy to report, so far, so good. What’s made it really good for me is that Kim is really quite a funny person; one of the funniest I know. She keeps me laughing with her quips and her approach towards life. She comes up with these one liners that that make us both laugh and now after 24 years I realize how much being able to laugh with one’s partner feeds a relationship with some very important nourishment.

Many of her lines are the type of “you had to be there” but I should at least try for an example. These past couple of days when I would be in angst over the little lizard that was trapped in our domain, Kim kept basically telling me to take a chill pill and that it would leave when it was ready. She didn’t get my passion, or the understanding that the little fellow couldn’t climb out and that it wasn’t hanging out with us out of desire but out of being trapped. At one point, as she was reading, she just looked up at me and said, “but how are you coming along with our dinner”? As I looked at her incredulously she calmly added, “I know that I should have been born a Muslim man”. It’s moments and comments such as these that keep me laughing and glad that I’m with Kim. Even when she says things like, “It’s always your fault—haven’t you learned that by now?” I can’t help but crack up and laugh with her. (Note, I must add that her comments come from some of the reading we’ve been doing: “A Thousand Splendid Suns” by Khaled Hosseini and “Infidel” by Ayaan Hirsi Ali).

Kim is also very smart, generous and very kind; her politics keep me on my toes and she doesn’t let me get away with things that shouldn’t be gotten away with. She’s also very stubborn and that balances out all of the nice things I have been saying about her. So, here we are in Italy, her dream adventure, and I really can’t say that I’d rather be anywhere else or with anyone else. I am quite the lucky soul and I have the nerve to ask for at least 24 more years with this very lovely person that I’ve grown to love more and more with each year.

Happy Anniversary, dear. I hope you like your present.

Love, r