4 AM THOUGHTS

July 22, 2008

I’m sure you’re wondering by now how Rachel could have stayed with this lunatic for 24 years. A Muslim man? Paula Poundstone?? Couldn’t Oprah play me in the movie? Or perhaps Ellen? (she has her own talk show and a nice mother). In my defense: Rachel failed to mention that I was running around trying to throw a bowl over the lizard/gecko to save Rachel from worrying about the poor thing. I also consulted on the whole bridge/ramp thingy to get it out the door. I even suggested talking to it in a British accent because in all the Geico commercials the geckos are Brits and perhaps it didn’t understand “American” screams. And THEN I asked her how dinner was coming along…

And everyone knows I’m the United States in our card games so I HAVE TO win. This shouldn’t be hard to understand or something to be surprised about. I tried giving Italy a chance and it got me NOWHERE fast. I wouldn’t expect Uzbekistan to understand. What have they ever won? (BTW: in “Hollywood gin” the score is 44-38, USA; in Cribbage well, let’s just call it a “conflict” at this point…a good American euphemism.)

My sweet girlfriend meant well- she said many nice things about me- which are only partially true but I am glad she thinks they’re completely true. We do laugh a lot together or we would have never lasted this long. The Vegas odds-makers and 99% of our friends would never have guessed we’d still be together 24 years later- let alone living together 24/7 in a foreign country with nary a harsh word between us. Some might say it’s because Rachel would be played by Mother Theresa in the movie. I say that’s about right except thank god Rachel is a thousand times cuter.

Why 4 am? Because I have some bug if you must know. I was down for the count all day yesterday and couldn’t even go out to celebrate our anniversary. In a few hours we have to get on a train to Milan because Siegy is arriving tonight. I wish my stomach ache was just because I am so very excited to see her. And those of you guessing it may be gelato overload…well under normal circumstances you may have been right… but this week I have gone without, anticipating that starting tomorrow, Siegy and I may want to eat it twice a day so I thought it best to rest up. Or… uh oh, maybe what I’m experiencing now is WITHDRAWAL??! So glad I mentioned it. In that case, the cure is within reach…

Yes, this blog is called Life in Alessandria. Think about it. It never promised to be a travelogue. You get what you paid for.